Finding Beauty In Terror?

Ok, I think I've gotten the post-apocalyptic nightmare fuel feel I was after.

Eric & I celebrated our 4th wedding anniversary this Monday! We celebrated by getting matching spiral ear jewelry at Unimax, the Chinatown based purveyors of all things tattoo and body modification (except actually getting work done. It's a supply outlet.)

Perhaps apropos to September 11th, which was today, lately I've been thinking about the shame tinged pleasure - or is it pleasure tinged shame, that comes from something apealing coming out of something atrocious. Not 9/11 specifically. It was a very painful time here in NYC, and the various agendas that clung to it's coattails -- from Operation Shuck and Jaw to the attempts at Machiavellian manipulation attempted by our upstairs neighbor -- fill me with nothing but disgust. Consider things more like LSD - initially developed for governmental mind-control experiments, sort of does the opposite. Or Krav Maga - tool of oppression employed by the IDF, but an effective martial art. Or even these ISIL videos/stills...their methods are reprehensible and their agenda fascistic - but one of those guys has this one knife I'm so jealous of. (Though, as analysts have pointed out, there is more than one knife in the first video.)

Soon these will be the kinds of thoughts we'll be carted away for writing. They may even be now. But since I was little, that which frightened me had to be fixated over. And now I leave you with a journal excerpt.